How humiliating. Max Bialystock. Max Bialystock. You know who I used to be? Max Bialystock! King of Broadway! Six shows running at once! Lunch at Delmonico’s. $200 suits. You see this? This once held a pearl as big as your eye! Look at me now. Look at me now!! I’m wearing a cardboard belt! I used to have thousands of investors begging, pleading to put their money in a Max Bialystock production. Look at my investors now. Voila! Hundreds of little old ladies stopping off at Max Bialystock’s office to grab a last thrill on the way to the cemetery! You have exactly 10 seconds to change that look of disgusting pity into one of enormous respect. One, two… Do the books. Do the books…Window’s so filthy, can’t tell whether it’s day or night out there. … That’s it, baby! When you got it, flaunt it. Flaunt It!
The Producers, Max Bialystock