Chicago, Velma Kelly

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Film Chicago
Play Chicago
Author Bill Condon
Role Velma Kelly
Actor Catherine Zeta-Jones

C’mon Babe, why don’t we paint the town… And all that Jazz. I’m gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down… And all that Jazz. Start the car I know a whoopie spot… where the gin is cold but the piano’s hot. It’s just a noisy hall, where there’s a nightly brawl… And all that Jazz.

My sister Veronica and I had this double act, and my husband Charlie traveled around with us. Now for the last number in our act we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row: one, two, three, four, five, splits, spread-eagles, back-flips, flip-flops, one right after the other. So this one night before the show we’re at the hotel Cicero, the three of us boozin, having a few laughs, and we run out of ice, so I run out to get some. I come back, open the door, and there’s Veronica and Charlie doing number 17, the spread-eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock that I completely blacked out; I can’t remember a thing. It wasn’t until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead.

Posted in Actor, Author, Comedic Female Monologues, Film, Play, Quotes and One Liners, Role

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