I want you to listen to me. I want you to listen because no one ever listens and I want you to be my first okay? It’s not true what they say. Don’t listen to them. Listen to me. Look, I’m strapped to the front grill of the engine on the gossip train, screaming my head off, and they’re having cocktails in the caboose getting all light-headed and loose-lipped okay? So please, listen to me. Yes, I’m mean, I’m insecure, I’m selfish, I’m petty, I compliment when I really want to criticize, I smile when really I just want to gag, I hug you when I really want to put you in a headlock, I say nice things but let’s be honest, nice is the new bitch. I confess, I’m all those things and a bowl of fruit loops. I won’t argue it. But you have to hear it from me okay? I reserve the right to judge myself.