Alright. Alright, twenty something betters. Here goes. Uh, start with obvious: Excuse me, is that your nose or did a bus park on your face? Meteorological: Everybody take cover, she’s going to blow! Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger, like Wyoming. Personal: Well, here we are, just the three of us. Punctual: Alright, Delmond your nose was on time, but you were fifteen minutes late! Envious: Oooh, I wish I was you! Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear! Naughty: Uh, pardon me, sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn’t mind putting that thing away. Philosophical: You know it’s not the size of a nose that’s important; it’s what’s in it that matters! Humorous: Laugh, and the world laughs with you, sneeze and its goodbye Seattle! Commercial: Hi, I’m Earl Shive and I can paint that nose for $39.95! Polite: Uh, would mind not bobbing your head, the, uh, orchestra keeps changing tempo. Melodic: Everybody! He’s got the whole world in his nose. Sympathetic: Aw, what happened, did your parents lose a bet with God? Complimentary: You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on. Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides? Obscure: Whoof, I’d hate see the grindstone. Think about it. Inquiring: When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid? French: Say, the pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave! Pornographic: Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once! How many is that?… Alright, alright. Religious: The Lord giveth, and he just kept on giving, didn’t he? Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose-hair? Paranoid: Keep that guy away from my cocaine! Aromatic: It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee in Brazil. Appreciative: Oooh how original! Most people just have their teeth capped! Alright. Alright. Dirty: Your name wouldn’t be Dick, would it?
Roxanne, C.D. “Charlie” Bales