Total failure to achieve any of the objectives for which I was hired. I told him he was being unreasonable. After all, I did get to dance with the President and ride in Air Force One a couple of times. But, you know those prickly environmentalists. It’s always got to be something with them. If it’s not clean air, then it’s clean water. Like it’s not good enough that I’m on the cover of People Magazine. … You’ll call him? You mean you’ll call him yourself, personally? It’ll come from the President? That’s a great idea. I think you should call Leo and make a deal. He hires me back for, say, 72 days. I go around scaring the hell out of Congress making them think the President is about to drive through a very damaging and costly bill. They’ll believe me right? Cause I’m the President’s Friday Night Girl. Now, I don’t know if we can dip into that well twice, especially since I’ve lost all credibility in politics, but you never know. I might just pull it off again. I might be able to give you just the leverage you need to pass some piece of ground-breaking crime legislation, like a mandatory three-day waiting period before a five-year old can buy an Uzi. Oh, fuck the sweater! She’ll have to learn to live with disappointment.
The American President, Sydney Ellen Wade