American Horror Story, Constance Langdon

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Film American Horror Story
Author Ryan Murphy 
Role Constance Langdon 
Actor Jessica Lange 

Adelaide! Adelaide. I put on Dora the explorer for you so you would sit and watch it.
Hi, I’m Constance, your neighbour from next door and this is my girl, Adelaide.
Go home, Addy, now.
That girl is a monster. I love her, and I’m a good Christian, but Jesus H Christ. You know, if they’d invented some of those tests a few years ago, I would’ve…
You left your back door open. Although, I have to tell you, Addy will always find a way in. She has a bug up her ass about this house, always has. You have the loveliest things. Have you got a dog? I run a little kennel out of my house, doggy daycare kind of a thing. I prefer purebreds- I adore the beauty of a long line- but there is always room in my home for mongrels. Oh, oh my. Look at those earrings… Are those real diamonds? Not that home shopping shit? I used to have diamonds like that, different pair for every day of the week. Did your husband give them to you? They always do when you’re young and pretty. Are you southern? I’m a proud Virginian. The old dominion, born and bred. I came out her to be a movie star, did the screen tests and everything but… nudity was the big deal then. The morals were just beginning to collapse and I wasn’t about to have my green pasture flashed seventy feet high for every man woman and child to see. So I took that little butterfly of a dream and put it in a jar on the shelf and soon after came the mongoloid… and of course I couldn’t work after that.
Oh, I brought you this. You know, a little housewarming. Addy wanted to bake you a pie, but she tends to spit in the cooking, so I thought this would be better. Help get rid of some of that bad juju. Relax and enjoy, let me know if you need any help with that pup.
I’m glad you’re getting rid of that wallpaper. I thought those gays were supposed to be stylish.
It’s sage, for cleaning the bad spirits in the house… too many bad memories in here.

Posted in Actor, Author, Comedic Female Monologues, Film, Quotes and One Liners, Role | Tagged

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